


Dark Paradise

by thisaccountisdone



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-03
Updated: 2012-07-03
Packaged: 2017-11-09 02:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisaccountisdone/pseuds/thisaccountisdone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is left alone after Derek dies. Derek's spirit vows to find a way back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow this fic is short but it was going to be shorter. It's inspired by a fanvideo I do not feel like linking. Sorry. It's good, though.

The bottle of pills slipped from his hand and he closed his eyes tight. Behind his eyelids, visions of Derek swam. He smiled dazedly and stretched out a tired hand. The vision slipped away and he fell into a world of nightmares. Blood poured from Derek’s mouth and he screamed until his throat was raw but his eyes wouldn’t open. The nightmare wouldn’t go away.  
  
He spent his days between sleep and wakefulness. But when his eyes were open, his world was dark. There was no light pouring in through the cracks. It was empty and hollow; a void of black. His eyes were constantly blurry. His footsteps never fell right. He didn’t speak anymore.  
  
He didn’t know what it was like to be happy. His emotions went from numb to mind numbing pain. Sometimes he had to double over and clutch his stomach, tears forming on the edges of his eyes. He can’t cry now. His tears have all been used up. But it still takes his breath away.  
  
His sleep is a cocktail of nightmares and sweet dreams. Sometimes he wakes up thinking Derek is still there. It’s blissful and sweet until reality slaps him in the face and he remembers. He remembers everything. It happened right in front of his eyes.  
  
At first, he was angry but now he doesn’t care. Being angry won’t bring Derek back. It won’t let Stiles see him again. All he hopes is that there’s something more after death. Life without Derek is hard but if he died and didn’t get to see him, it would be worse.  
  
Fear bubbles up in his stomach when he thinks that he might not see Derek again. If there is a life after death, then Derek would be there waiting for him. But it’s so hard to accept that when he can’t believe in anything anymore. He’s lost his faith and his will. All he knows is the empty aching in his chest.  
  
At night, he can feel Derek’s skin against his and the warmth seeps into his bones. He can feel his laugh rumble against his chest and the kisses pressed against his throat. He can feel the hands wrapped in his like puzzle pieces fitted together. He feels it all and then it’s gone in an instant and he’s left feeling colder than before.  
  
It’s like the ghost of Derek is still lingering in his bloodstream. He crawls through Stiles’ veins until he’s gasping for air. It hurts like his lungs are being ripped from his body. He’s never felt anything so strong.  
  
And he sees the recognition in his dad’s eyes. He sees in himself his father when his mother died. He can see the ache in his dad’s eyes that remind him of those days where his dad could barely get out of bed. He remembers the pain he felt next to his own and the way his dad was never the same afterwards.  
  
At the funeral, his dad didn’t let go of him. Stiles sobbed into his shoulder until he could taste the copper in his throat and his eyes stung. Salt clung to his cheeks as he made his way to the casket for one last look at Derek. He wasn’t sure when he really broke but he woke up a day and a half later on the floor of his bathroom.  
  
His dad went back and forth between distant and ever present. It was like he was fighting his internal battle again. Stiles imagined he was reliving the death of his wife. He wanted to do something to help but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything.  
  
As much as it hurt, he didn’t want to lose that feeling. He didn’t want to lose how he felt about Derek. He didn’t want the pain to become a dull ache in the background of his mind. He just wanted to hold onto all that he had left of Derek; no matter how much it hurt him.  
  
He hated himself for acting the way he was but he never knew anything could hurt so much. Each moment was excruciating. Anything would be better than the way he felt. It was amazing how he could be numb and yet ache so much at the same time. His whole body hurt and his mind screamed. Every moment took all of his energy.  
  
He hadn’t realized before he saw Derek lying there. He screamed and screamed until his father arrived and held him while he fell to the ground sobbing. Derek was the one who could heal. He should have gotten up but he didn’t. It happened all in front of Stiles’ eyes. It happened so quickly that he didn’t have time to say anything.  
  
His biggest regret is not telling Derek he loved him. He should have figured it out sooner. He should have realized how much he meant. But they say you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and Stiles was the epitome of that quote. He knew exactly what was missing and he wanted it back more than anything.  
  
There was a hole in his stomach that would never go away. He knew that even if the pain faded, it would never be gone. He had watched his dad for years and he had dealt with death before. But the loss of his mother was different from Derek. Nothing compared to losing the one you love.  
  
No one would ever take the place of Derek and there was something in knowing that he lost it so young that hurt. He would never have anyone. He would never be happy. There would always be a shadow where Derek belonged.  
  
But sometimes at night he thought he heard Derek’s voice calling softly to him. He thought he heard a whisper telling him everything would be alright. He would find a way back to Stiles, whatever it took. 


	2. Chapter 2

The words stuck with him for the next three years. Sometimes when he turned the corner, he thought he saw red eyes flashing at him. When he saw a leather jacket, his heart sped up and he did a double take. It was never Derek but there was a small inkling of delusional hope.  
  
He learned everything he could about the supernatural world. He tried to find ways of bringing Derek back. Everyone told him to give up- “It’s been nearly four years.”- but he couldn’t. There was always the memory of a whisper.  
  
In his dreams, he saw Derek. He smiled and held his hands out to Stiles. He kissed him until Stiles was dizzy and whispered I love you. Sometimes Stiles saw a light beckoning him but he could never reach it. Derek always faded into it and something about that was peaceful.   
  
He visited Derek’s grave every day while he lived in Beacon Hills and, after that, as much as he could. He’d talk to it; tell Derek’s spirit about his day and college. He’d tell Derek about the guys hitting on him and conspiratorially wink and say, “But none of them compare to you.” He’d leave flowers and notes. He wrote Derek poetry and stories.   
  
It still hurt. There were times when the pain would take his breath away. But he had hope. There was this thought that wouldn’t leave his mind; this theory that Derek was out there somewhere, waiting. He knew that the world worked in mysterious ways. He knew about the supernatural. He just hoped that someone somewhere would deem Derek worthy of coming back.

 

*****

 

It was two weeks after the four year anniversary of Derek’s death. He was standing next to Derek’s grave and there was a burst of light. It blinded him for a moment and when he opened his eyes again, Derek was standing before him without a scratch.   
  
There was something different about him. His eyes and face were lighter, as if years of pain had been carved away. When he smiled, he shone brighter than the sun. Stiles gaped, eyes wide, and tried to figure out if he was dreaming.  
  
In the background was the tinkle of a harp and high pitched laughter. He heard the flutter of wings and then the sound was gone and the world was back to normal. But there was Derek in front of him smiling. Stiles couldn’t move; his feet were rooted to the ground.  
  
Suddenly, arms were enveloping him and there was the tickle of breath against his ear. A grin broke across his face and he buried his face into Derek’s neck. Derek kissed him lightly on top of the head. “I told you I’d find a way back to you, Stiles.”   
  
“Where have you been?” Stiles asked breathlessly. He didn’t dare open his eyes again to discover this was all a dream and that Derek was gone. He’d been there before and it left him cold.  
  
“In the afterlife,” Derek answered quietly.   
  
“How’d you get back?”  
  
“They tested me to see if my love was pure; to see if yours was. I saw you when you were at my grave. I listened to you.”  
  
“Then how did you convince them?”   
  
Derek didn’t answer for a long moment. Stiles turned his head up to look at him. His eyes were distant and his teeth were chewing at his lip. “They told me if I came back I would never be a wolf again. It’s all I know- being a wolf- but that doesn’t matter. I’d give up anything to be with you again.”   
  
Stiles nodded. A tear rolled down his cheek and he laughed. “I love you so much. Oh god. Fuck you for dying, Derek. Fuck you so much.”   
  
Derek let out a loud laugh. “Sorry about that. I’ll try not to ever again.” Stiles nodded once again and wrapped his arms tightly around Derek. He vowed to never let Derek go.


End file.
